Since my last blog post…
I’ve celebrated and laughed. I’ve been disappointed, violated, overly emotional. I’ve taken five steps forward and a few steps back. I’ve shut down and shut people out. I’ve cried and screamed ‘til my throat went raw. I’ve told the story over and over and over again. I’ve hated and loved myself all in the same breath. I was alone, I was confused, lost and hopeless. I’ve loved. I’ve failed. I tried and then tried some more. I was vulnerable. I was happy. I was frustrated. I drowned my sorrows and buried them deep. I was alone. I pleaded. I begged. I organized and reorganized. I blamed others, I blamed myself. I compartmentalized. I was defeated. I spoke. I bit my tongue. I poured out my heart and healed some wounds. I watched the sun rise only for it to set again. I lost a lot. I surrendered to my emotions and was gentle with myself. Then I let go.
Like the moon we all have phases of waning, decreasing in size, strength and illumination, and waxing, increasing in size, strength and illumination. (Take this however it resonates with you) Neither one of these phases are perfect, comfortable or painless but they’re necessary for growth and healing .
So take your time, sit with the uncomfortable and show yourself some compassion. You deserve it.